Expect Nothing

Today’s quote from Sylvia has passed into cliché, but that’s because it’s so true. But it’s also quite a sad quote really. Esther in The Bell Jar was clearly disappointed in people.

If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed

sylvia expect blog

It’s a quote that makes me feel sad. If you live to this dictum, it’s a little depressing to me. I like to expect the best, and the most from people. Perhaps it’s because I am such a perfectionist–that i always give my absolute best–that i am so often let down when others don’t reciprocate.

It’s the over-passionate, slighty manic, side of my personality. The positivity that maybe goes too far. But I am beaten down by negative people. I can’t have them around me. I know that the fragile state of my mind means that I can be brought crashing down, but generally it’s other people who will do it these days, not myself, as I have learned to control that aspect of my mind.

What  I can’t control is other people, and so, expecting the most is disappointing when so many fail to deliver.

On my hen night last year, I told my bridesmaid that I didn’t want strippers, or willy straws, or any of that stuff. We arranged the day together, but I kept thinking that she would have something up her sleeve; that there would be some surprise element to the day for me, something silly and fun.Perhaps fancy dress, she knew I loved it.

But nothing. I got a pair of fluffy deely-boppers, and that was it. Not even a bride to be veil or sash.

I expected too much, and, yes, I was disappointed.

I got nothing. The surprise element of the day for me was her complete and utter lack of interest in the hen day and night, and her storming out of it at around 10pm because I had, apparently, shouted at her, when she tried to stop me injecting some fun into what had turned to be like just another night in the pub.

It was a crashing disappointment. I was completely deflated and let-down. And on this occasion I felt justified. Sometimes, it’s not wrong to expect people to pull out the stops for you. The problem here was it was just the wrong person.